It’s an inescapable fact in the foreigner scene abroad: a divide exists between backpackers and expats, and the animosity that emanates between the two sides can sometimes be as spicy as Thai green curry. Among the expat community, “tourist” and “backpacker” are often used as dirty words, whereas “expat” can be sometimes be heard with a negative tone amongst backpackers.
Having been both a backpacker and an expat myself, I’ve experienced and observed the animosity from both sides. Both expats and backpackers usually have genuinely solid reasons for any ill feelings that may exist between the two.
That said, many backpackers and expats get along just fine. Indeed, as one expat put it: “backpackers seem mostly like nice kids. I give ‘em lift when I’m going their way.” And many backpackers see expats not as a source of abhoration, but as a source of infinite knowledge about the town or city they’re in.
But one cannot ignore the snide comments, the malevolent looks, the crude jokes, and the general hostility that are often hit back and forth in touristy towns between those foreigners who are visiting, and those foreigners who are staying. Despite the fact that many expats may claim everlasting love for backpackers, the t-shirts hanging in the windows of many shops in backpacker towns proclaiming, “If it’s tourist season, why can’t we shoot them?” would have many believe otherwise.
So, let’s give each side their fair say.
Hey guys, why all the hate?
First, let’s start by defining, just so that there can be no misinterpretations, just what exactly is a backpacker, and what is an expat.
Expat is short for expatriate, which is defined by the Oxford dictionary as a person who lives outside their native country.
The Oxford dictionary doesn’t carry the term ‘backpacker’, but the Macmillan dictionary defines a backpacker as someone, especially a young person without much money, who travels around an area on foot or public transport, often carrying a backpack.

Backpackers Weigh In

kaila_expatwithflagsThe differences may lie in the very different situations that people from each side find themselves in, explains Digby Smith, an Australian who backpacked around Southeast Asia. “Expats can be on a different wavelength due to being familiar with their surroundings and often have other priorities.” Smith also acknowledges that his kind may be to blame: “In party towns and cities, I think backpackers can annoy some expats.” However, he points out that expats are not totally innocent: “I have noticed them to be rude and sometimes a bit arrogant towards local staff,” says Smith.
Backpacker Scott Gibson, originally from Canada, is a little more blunt when it comes to his feelings about expats. When asked how he feels about them, he replies simply, “not a huge fan.” He explains why: “they tend to want to share their infinite wisdom of a place with you in a very condescending way. As far as males go, I think it’s pretty pathetic to move somewhere so you can be with a woman normally out of your league because of your money.”
Johan Falk, who hails from Sweden, has been backpacking for over a year. “I feel sorry for most of the ones I’ve met in Southeast Asia. It seems like most of them are here for one reason: boom boom, except for the ones that work with dive shops or running a serious guesthouse.” Falk says he feels that most expats tend to have an I-was-here-first attitude, making other travelers feel unwelcome. All this being said, Falk qualifies that often these expats are the exception to the rule: “I’ve met so many nice expats willing to offer their time and help.”

Expats Get Their Say

kaila_backpackersgetdrunkdresslikepiratesExpats, of course, have their own take on the situation.
Anne-Marie Drozdz, an expat living in Vietnam, had one particularly off-putting experience with backpackers when she was living in Turkey, and went on a cruise: “There were 19 ’round the clock drunken backpackers,” she explains. “They were loud and disrespectful towards the Turks. They created havoc on this four-day trip.” Drozdz also explains that she felt animosity from those same backpackers when they discovered she was an expat, living in Turkey at the time.
Drozdz gives her take on the possible reason for expat animosity towards backpackers: “Expats have a deeper knowledge and understanding of the culture, language and customs of the host country and when they see backpackers barreling in for a few hours and being disrespectful or whatever, then maybe that causes resentment.”
Nicole Hill, who lived as an expat in Central America, says that expats have every right to make a stand when backpackers cross the line: “We’re the ones who have to deal with the lasting impression it creates of foreigners, Brits, Americans, whatever. Even if you’re not one of the ‘bad’ tourists, by virtue of the fact that you’re going to be moving on soon, you’ll behave differently to those of us who live and work in places.”
Manis Ender, originally from Germany and living in Thailand, acknowledges that there may be subconscious animosity towards backpackers from expats. “I have no honest interest in them, their stories, or countries they have traveled,” says Ender. “Often they just bore me on the first sight.” Ender goes further to explains that backpackers often give off a bad image, which makes him prefer to avoid them: their dress code, their pack-like behaviour, as well as their ignorant and arrogant behaviour are all things that Ender finds off-putting.

Can’t We All Get Along?

kaila_gettingalongDigby Smith thinks so. He suggests that expats be more mindful of backpackers’ predicaments: “I think that expats can forget they were once new to the area and forget that they may have been in the same position.”
Anne-Marie Drozdz thinks that backpackers should also be mindful of their surroundings, saying that they might take care to “behave reasonably towards the local community and respect the culture.” Drozdz says that everyone – expats and backpackers, should try accepting people “for what they are and respect their decisions to either travel short-term or stay in a country.” (Unless they are pedophiles, she qualifies.)
At the end of the day, it seems that each side has its valid points. The positive side is that both backpackers and expats are able to acknowledge the others’ strengths, and their own weaknesses, which is the first step towards building a strong relationship.
We certainly won’t be seeing expats and backpackers singing kumbayah on Khao San Road any time soon, but if each side is ready to make some concessions, there might be the possibility for a little more love in the world abroad.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

7 of the World’s Best Chinatowns

You know the neighborhood straightaway – Chinese signage, glowing red lanterns everywhere, maybe even some neon: you’ve stumbled into another urban Chinatown.

Nearly every large city these days has a Chinatown, each with their own vibrant feel, but distinct features of the look are common across most of them. Here are seven of the best Chinatowns you can visit; would you have identified the city just from the photo?

Sydney, Australia

sydneychinatownThe Chinatown in Sydney reflects on Australia’s bright, sun-drenched image: the neighborhood is one of the brightest and cleanest you will find. The current location in Haymarket is the third location for Chinatown; it started out near in Rocks are near the harbor, then moved to Market Street, and finally settled here in the 1920s.

A tourist must-do experience is shopping at Market City, full of specialty stores and factory outlet stores. Don’t miss the dining options in one of the massive food halls either; while it may seem daunting with all the choices and busy atmosphere, the low prices and tasty fare all make up for it. An annual highlight is the Chinese New Year festival, said to be one of the best in the world.

New York, United States

nychinatownNew York City takes top marks for its Chinatown because it has not only one, but three: the main tourist attraction in Manhattan, one in the neighborhood of Flushing in Queens, and a bustling community in Brooklyn’s Sunset Park.

Canal Street is the epicenter of the Manhattan action, with endless photo opportunities for the camera-toting tourists. Rows of shops offer up the traditional Chinatown fare: unusual Chinese gifts, tacky New York inspired souvenirs, fake watches and purses.

There are a large number of herbal remedy stores and the best-stocked Chinese grocery stores on all of the east coast. Visitors take note – while New York is the city that never sleeps, Chinatown closes its doors around 11pm.

San Francisco, United States

sfchinatownSan Francisco’s Chinatown is a mega-attraction: it’s the largest Chinese community outside of Asia, the oldest Chinatown in North America, and one of the most popular tourist attractions in the city. With charming alleyways that wouldn’t look out of place in Hong Kong and the older men playing chess and performing Tai Chi in Portsmouth Square, it is no wonder this is a crowd pleaser.

Locals stream in on the weekends for food shopping and to soak up the local atmosphere around such gorgeous sights as the Bank of Canton and Sing Chong Building.

To learn more about the history of San Francisco’s Chinatown, pick up a copy of Amy Tan’s The Joy Luck Club – she grew up in the area and the book describes life here in a series of vignettes.

Bangkok, Thailand

bangkokchinatownKnown as just Sampeng or Yaowarat, after nearby streets, Bangkok’s Chinatown is as old as the city itself. In the late 1700s, as the young city of Bangkok expanded, Chinese traders were asked to relocate. They settled here near the river where they’ve been ever since.

The area has a number of examples of early Bangkok architecture in pristine condition, found down the various lanes and narrow streets.

Tourists will be quick to point out the Wat Traimit temple, which houses the world’s largest solid gold Buddha, weighing in at over 5 tons. Don’t miss the great shopping opportunities, especially the wares on display in the old Chinese pharmacy.

Brisbane, Australia

brisbanechinatownOne of the more modern versions of a Chinatown, Brisbane’s Chinatown Mall opened in 1987. The colorful architecture was designed by Chinese architects and is guarded by a pair of massive stone lions straddling the area’s entrance.

The authentic feel of neighborhood makes it a popular stop for both tourists and residents, especially on weekends when market stalls line the streets.

Many of the shops could be considered more pan-Asian than decidedly Chinese; however the most popular food stop would be Yuen’s Chinese Supermarket, a favorite to both Chinese and Australian families.

Paris, France

parischinatownUnknown to many tourists, Paris actually has several Chinatowns, the largest being in the 13th arrondissement. The name Chinatown is slightly misleading, as many of residents are ethnic Chinese that emigrated from Communist-controlled Vietnam in the late 1970s.

Although not as aesthetically pleasing as Paris’s more notable districts, Chinatown has many hidden charms below the towering skyscrapers.

The Parisian influence was not lost on the Chinese, as you’ll find many shops with exotic household furnishings, plush but garish nail salons and garment stores. Many wear by the food supplies of La Boutique des frère Tang (The Tang Brothers), who supply most of the Chinese restaurants in the city. Visitors should note that most shops and restaurants are closed on Mondays.

Yokohama, Japan

yokohamachinatownYokohama hosts the largest Chinatown in all of Asia; the neighborhood blossomed when the Port of Yokohama opened to foreign trade in 1859 as many of the traders were Chinese and settled here. The lanes and streets of Chinatown are marked by the nine gaudy but colorful gates found throughout.

Food is front and center, with over 200 restaurants serving up both traditional and more modern Chinese delicacies – be sure to try a plate of steamed pork buns, but you can be sure that anywhere with a queue is worth waiting for.

For those with a ravenous stomach, head for the Daisekai (Daska), a “food theme park” offering samples of various dishes from the city’s best restaurants. Be sure to take your Chinese or Japanese dictionary as English is not Yokohama’s strong suit.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

About Thailand And Thai

Thailand (pronounced /ˈtaɪlænd/ TYE-land or /ˈtaɪlənd/; Thai: ราชอาณาจักรไทย Ratcha Anachak Thai, IPA: [râːtɕʰa ʔaːnaːtɕɑ̀k tʰɑj]) is an independent country that lies in the heart of Southeast Asia. It is bordered to the north by Burma and Laos, to the east by Laos and Cambodia, to the south by the Gulf of Thailand and Malaysia, and to the west by the Andaman Sea and the southern extremity of Burma. Its maritime boundaries include Vietnam in the Gulf of Thailand to the southeast and Indonesia and India in the Andaman Sea to the southwest.
The country is a kingdom, a constitutional monarchy with King Bhumibol Adulyadej, the ninth king of the House of Chakri, who has reigned since 1946, making him the world's longest-serving current head of state and the longest-reigning monarch in Thai history. The king is officially titled as the Head of State, the Head of the Armed Forces, an Upholder of the Buddhist religion, and the Defender of all Faiths. The largest city in Thailand is Bangkok, the capital, which is also the country's center of political, commercial, industrial and cultural activities.
Thailand is the world's 50th largest country in terms of total area (slightly smaller than Yemen and slightly larger than Spain), with a surface area of approximately 513,000 km2 (198,000 sq mi), and the 21st most-populous country, with approximately 64 million people. About 75% of the population is ethnically Thai, 14% is of Chinese origin, and 3% is ethnically Malay; the rest belong to minority groups including Mons, Khmers and various hill tribes. There are approximately 2.2 million legal and illegal migrants in Thailand. Thailand has also attracted a number of expatriates from developed countries. The country's official language is Thai.
Thailand has a prevalence of Buddhism that ranks among the highest in the world. The national religion is Theravada Buddhism which is practiced by more than 94.7% of all Thais. Muslims make up 4.6% of the population and 0.7% belong to other religions. Thai culture and traditions are mainly influenced by Chinese, and to a lesser degree, by Indian culture, along with Burma, Laos and Cambodia. Thailand experienced rapid economic growth between 1985 and 1995 and is a newly industrialized country with tourism, due to world-class tourist destinations such as Pattaya, Bangkok, and Phuket, and exports contributing significantly to the economy
The culture of Thailand incorporates a great deal of influence from India, China, Cambodia, and the rest of Southeast Asia. Thailand's national religion Theravada Buddhism is central to modern Thai identity and belief. In practice, Thai Buddhism has evolved over time to include many regional beliefs originating from Hinduism, animism as well as ancestor worship. The official calendar in Thailand is based on the Eastern version of the Buddhist Era, which is 543 years ahead of the Gregorian (western) calendar. For example, the year AD 2010 is 2553 BE in Thailand.
In areas in the southernmost parts of Thailand, Islam is prevalent. Several different ethnic groups, many of which are marginalized, populate Thailand. Some of these groups overlap into Burma, Laos, Cambodia, and Malaysia and have mediated change between their traditional local culture, national Thai and global cultural influences. Overseas Chinese also form a significant part of Thai society, particularly in and around Bangkok. Their successful integration into Thai society has allowed for this group to hold positions of economic and political power.
The traditional Thai greeting, the wai, is generally offered first by the younger of the two people meeting, with their hands pressed together, fingertips pointing upwards as the head is bowed to touch their face to the hands, usually coinciding with the spoken word "Sawasdee khrap" for male speakers, and "Sawasdee ka" for females. The elder then is to respond afterwards in the same way. Social status and position, such as in government, will also have an influence on who performs the wai first. For example, although one may be considerably older than a provincial governor, when meeting it is usually the visitor who pays respect first. When children leave to go to school, they are taught to wai to their parents to represent their respect for them. They do the same when they come back. The wai is a sign of respect and reverence for another, similar to the namaste greeting of India and Nepal.
Muay Thai, or Thai boxing, is the national sport in Thailand and its native martial art call "Muay". In the past "Muay" was taught to royal soldiers for combat on battlefield if unarmed. After they retired from the army, these soldiers often became Buddhist monks and stayed at the temples. Most of the Thai people's lives are closely tied to Buddhism and temples; they often send their sons to be educated with the monks. ”Muay” is also one of the subjects taught in the temples.[58] Muay Thai achieved popularity all over the world in the 1990s. Although similar martial arts styles exist in other Southeast Asian countries, few enjoy the recognition that Muay Thai has received with its full-contact rules allowing strikes including elbows, throws and knees.
Association football, however, has possibly overtaken Muay Thai's position as most widely viewed and liked sport in contemporary Thai society and it is not uncommon to see Thais cheering their favourite English Premier League teams on television and walking around in replica kits. Another widely enjoyed pastime, and once a competitive sport, is kite flying.

Thai cuisine blends five fundamental tastes: sweet, spicy, sour, bitter and salty. Some common ingredients used in Thai cuisine include garlic, chillies, lime juice, lemon grass, and fish sauce. The staple food in Thailand is rice, particularly jasmine variety rice (also known as Hom Mali rice) which is included in almost every meal. Thailand is the world's largest exporter of rice, and Thais domestically consume over 100 kg of milled rice per person per year. Over 5000 varieties of rice from Thailand are preserved in the rice gene bank of the International Rice Research Institute (IRRI), based in the Philippines. The king of Thailand is the official patron of IRRI.
Like most Asian cultures, respect towards ancestors is an essential part of Thai spiritual practice. Thais have a strong sense of hospitality and generosity, but also a strong sense of social hierarchy. Seniority is an important concept in Thai culture. Elders have by tradition ruled in family decisions or ceremonies. Older siblings have duties to younger ones.

Taboos in Thailand include touching someone's head or pointing with the feet, as the head is considered the most sacred and the foot the dirtiest part of the body.Thai society has been influenced in recent years by its widely available multi-language press and media. There are some English and numerous Thai and Chinese newspapers in circulation; most Thai popular magazines use English headlines as a chic glamor factor. Many large businesses in Bangkok operate in English as well as other languages.
Thailand is the largest newspaper market in Southeast Asia with an estimated circulation of at least 13 million copies daily in 2003. Even upcountry, out of Bangkok, media flourishes. For example, according to Thailand's Public Relations Department Media Directory 2003-2004, the nineteen provinces of Isan, Thailand's northeastern region, hosted 116 newspapers along with radio, TV and cable.

Top 10 Destinations for 2008. The writers and editors of this global travel information and resource site have compiled ten great destinations that combine history and culture with value for travelers who prefer to arrange their own trips and challenge themselves in the most fascinating places in the world.

You’ll read a lot about “hot” destinations at any given time, and often by the time you’ve read about a place that means it’s suddenly overrun by visitors and its prices are rising while its quality is waning. We’ve done our best to include destinations that are timely but also should be solid choices for years to come.

Buenos Aires
Buenos Aires, Argentina

10 – Buenos Aires

One of the nicest European cities of all is actually in South America. After its currency collapse in 2003, this gorgeous place got embarrassingly cheap for foreigners, but that won’t go on forever, so don’t wait too long. Vegetarians may find beef-obsessed Argentina a bit challenging. It won’t be a deal-breaker, though, as this cosmopolitan city has something for everyone, including a diverse nightlife scene that usually goes until dawn or later. Brush up on your español before you go – it will help you experience the city more completely.

Budapest
Budapest, Hungary

9 – Budapest

The capital of Hungary is one of the most beautiful cities in the world. Unlike some other Eastern European destinations, visiting is still very cheap compared to the West. The old town district of Castle Hill is a highlight of this huge city, and the hearty portions of the paprika-accented food win over most who try it. You can spend days just admiring the classic architecture, but the city is also an excellent place to begin an exploration of the many historic Hungarian villages nearby.

Marrakech
Marrakech. Morocco

8 – Morocco

This moderate Muslim country is easily visible and quickly reachable from the southern coast of Spain, but it feels a world away. Quickly pass through the “border-town” city of Tangier and on to Rabat, Fes, or Marrakech for a pleasant cultural shock on a backpacker’s budget. Choose Fes or Marrakech, and add in a smaller city to escape the constant tourism push, but skip the chaotic capital of Casablanca. For those with a bit more time, trekking the Atlas mountain ranges makes for an unforgettable adventure mixed with a cultural experience that contrasts nicely with Morocco’s bustling cities. Even for independent travelers, a tour using a local guide can be a great way to see all the magical parts of Morocco and avoid its often frustrating tourist traps.

Chiang Mai
Chiang Mai, Thailand

7 – Chiang Mai, Thailand

This walled city in the Himalayan foothills is 700 kilometers north of Bangkok and is known as the gateway to northern Thailand. Over 300 Buddhist temples in all different styles dot the area, with the 13th century Wat Chiang Man being the oldest. An important trading center for many centuries, there’s plenty to do during the frequently steamy days. The famous Night Bazaar with its bargain crafts and fashions is the place to spend the cool Chiang Mai evenings. The fact that hotel rooms start around US$5.00 per night, and traditional Thai mini-resorts can be found for not much more, only sweetens the deal. This is a great place for a minor splurge for long term travelers in Southeast Asia.

Ethiopia
Imet Gogo, Ethiopia

6 – Ethiopia

Forget what you might have thought about Ethiopia before, this large East African country is not depressing or completely parched. A growing tourist infrastructure is making it easier to discover for adventurous travelers. Having never been colonized, Ethiopia has its own fascinating history and culture, which mix nicely with one of the most impressive networks of well preserved national parks in the world. The Omo Valley in the east provides an unforgettable look at African tribal life today. Hotels in Ethiopia start under US$10.00, but luxury is available if you’ve got the money.

Queenstown, New Zealand
Queenstown, New Zealand

5 – Queenstown, New Zealand

Anyone who has been to New Zealand knows that Queenstown is the tourist mecca of its South Island. During winter the city is filled with snowboarders and skiers; for the rest of the year, the Bungee-jumping and adventure-travel crowd moves in, so the nightlife is good year round. This postcard-perfect mountain city on a lake is also so charming that you’ll want to move there before you even reach the center of town for the first time. You can have a great visit using public transportation, but if you’ve rented a car or campervan, your possibilities for exploring the area greatly increase. Queenstown is not terribly cheap, but it’s not a budget buster either.

Sicily
Palermo, Sicily

4 – Sicily

This endlessly scenic island off Italy’s toe has its own ancient culture and even its own language, but in some ways it’s also more intensely Italian (and noticeably cheaper) than the main tourist cities in the north. The plentiful seafood is both exotic and simple, and the abundant vineyards ensure the wine keeps flowing at a very reasonable price. Check on the bustling capital of Palermo or the beach resort/fishing village of Cefalù at any time, except the sweltering and steamy summer. Ancient Greek ruins can be found in many areas and Mt. Etna – Europe’s largest active volcano – is easy to explore as well.

Petra, Jordan
Petra, Jordan

3 – Jordan

The Middle East can sound scary and that helps keep Jordan from being overwhelmed with tourists, but this safe and welcoming country where most people speak some English – eco-tourism is quickly catching on – offers a fascinating look at the region with surprisingly few headaches. Don’t linger in the modern capital of Amman. Instead, spend a couple of days in the ancient city of Petra and another couple checking out the stunning desertscapes of Wadi Rum. Spring and fall are the best times to visit, but brave visitors are welcome all year round. As long as things remain stable in Jordan, it’s bound to start getting crowded in years to come.

Belize
Placencia, Belize

2 – Belize

This tiny English-speaking Central American country feels frozen in time, but in a very good way. Paved roads are a rarity on the popular tourist islands where most visitors go. Belize has world-class scuba diving, snorkeling, fishing, sailing, sea-kayaking, cave-tubing and jungle expeditions, mixed with fascinating Maya culture. It’s one of the cheapest Caribbean resort destinations now, but don’t wait too long. Developers and even celebrities have caught on (Leonardo DiCaprio is building an eco-resort on a private island in Belize and Francis Ford Coppola already owns a couple of places), so it won’t be this way forever.

Nepal
Kathmandu, Nepal

1 – Nepal

Most famous for being home to half of Mount Everest, there is a lot more to do in this ultra-photogenic country than follow a Sherpa into the sky. Trekking adventures for all skill levels are available throughout Nepal, and crowds still tend to be minimal for now. Check out some Bengal tigers, elephants and Indian rhinos during a guided jungle tour in the Royal Chitwan National Park, a UNESCO World Heritage Site. The capital of Kathmandu – which dates back to the 8th Century AD – is filled with temples, but also has a sturdy tourist infrastructure. Hotels for under US$10.00 per night are easy to find, but so are international business-class hotels for those with deeper pockets.

The Three R’s: Rabies, Rambo & Raging Hypochondria
Ko Samui, Thailand

“It’s my bladder,” said the old man next to me, “it hurts when I pee.” Why do pensioners feel the need to discuss their medical problems with complete strangers? Is it an attribute of old age that arrives with the pension? This man was a total stranger, yet there we were, sitting in a doctor’s waiting room discussing the delicate nature of his plumbing.

“What you here for?” He eventually asked.
“Rabies,” I answered. I couldn’t blame him for looking surprised.

The trouble began two weeks earlier. My girlfriend, Caroline, and I had just arrived in Ko Samui, a small tourist island in the Gulf of Thailand. The journey had been 14 hours of back breaking tedium and we arrived tired and hungry, prompting us to take the first hotel offered by a gang of persistent touts. The room was clean, the bed was large and the shower was a hosepipe. What more could you ask for?

After a quick wash and a change of clothes we wandered over to the resort’s beachside restaurant. Candles flickered, cicadas sung and waves broke – it was perfect. A smiling waitress shuttled back and forth with an endless supply of noodles and beer, while a shaggy beach dog sat at our feet begging for scraps.

Returning to our room after dinner, we stumbled across the same dog curled up by a bungalow. Crouching down, I stuck out my hand to give him a goodnight pat. In an instant, he changed from a cute bundle of fluff to a snarling mass of teeth, lunging forward and biting my hand. To think, an hour earlier I was sharing my chicken Pad Thai with the ungrateful little bastard. Stumbling backwards, I surveyed my bloody wound as the snarling dog retreated into the darkness.

We never hear about rabies in the UK, probably because there hasn’t been an indigenous case since 1902, but in developing countries it’s still a massive problem, killing 35,000 to 40,000 people every year. In Thailand alone, 50 people died from the virus the previous year, all but ten contracting the disease through dog bites.

Following the instructions in my pocket first aid kit, I cleaned the cut with soap and water and swabbed it with an Alcowipe. I’d never been immunised against rabies and Caroline urged me to go to hospital, but I was tired and drunk. All I wanted to do was sleep. Big mistake.

Since 1947, twenty-two people have died from rabies in the UK, all of them contracting the disease abroad. In May 2001, 55-year old Hilario Laya died after returning from the Philippines, where a stray dog bit him. His life might have been saved if he’d received immediate medical attention, but he ignored the bite and died six weeks later in a London hospital.

The next morning we were up early to catch a ferry to the neighbouring island of Ko Tao, but before we left, I wanted to find the dog that bit me and discover if he’d been vaccinated.

“What dog look like?” asked the waitress in broken English.
“Small, brown, four legs, sharp teeth,” was the best I could do, but it seemed to do the trick.
“Ahhh, Rambo,” the waitress said with a grin.

Of all the dogs in the world, I had to stroke one named after a trained killer, just my luck. She called out and little Rambo appeared from beneath a bungalow with a dead bird in its mouth.

“This dog?” said the waitress, looking confused.

I nodded.
“Rambo good dog,” she said, “not bite anyone.”

Rambo sat looking up at us, a picture of innocence. Mentioning rabies produced an angry reaction.

“No! Rambo clean dog,” she spat, “him not labid!” Before storming off, leaving me alone with the dog, whose Mutley expression said ‘better luck next time, sucker.’

As we waited for the ferry, Caroline nagged me to go to the hospital, but I was trapped in my own stubborn denial. Deep down though, I was worried. I needn’t have been. Ko Samui hasn’t had a reported case of Rabies since 1985. In an effort to attract more tourists, the local authority vaccinated all the island’s dogs, prompting them to declare Samui a rabies free zone – one of only two areas in the whole of Thailand (the other being Ko Samet). Why nobody bothered to tell me is still a complete mystery.

When we eventually reached Ko Tao I had a headache and a sore back. It was probably dehydration and the results of a 3-hour boat ride, but I was beginning to think the worst. Like a raving hypochondriac, I analysed every twinge and niggle, visualizing the infection as it crept up my spine to attack the brain. It was all too much for Caroline, who frog-marched me down to the medical centre.

“Big man, big baby,” said the nurse, as she plunged the needle into my arm. It was the first of five post-exposure injections, with the rest due 3, 7, 14 and 30 days later. The immunisation has an almost 100% success rate when administered immediately, but my 12-hour delay was enough to plant the seed of doubt in my mind.

A couple of days passed, the back pain and headache continued, convincing me I had the virus. I crossed off symptoms from a mental checklist and anticipated the moment I would turn into a slathering lunatic. Caroline thought it was great fun to play on my paranoia – suggesting dog food for dinner and waving bottled water under my nose (hydrophobia is another common symptom).

It usually takes between 9 and 90 days for rabies symptoms to emerge, and when they do it’s not pretty. Fever, anxiety, nausea and headaches for starters, followed by spasms of the swallowing muscles, hallucinations, maniacal behaviour, paralysis, coma and finally death, usually by respiratory or heart failure. All doctors can do is sedate the victim, and in some hospitals, patients are tied down until they die.

We returned to the UK the day before my forth injection was due and an emergency appointment was arranged with my GP. Dr Tim was impressed; it was the first time he’d ever had to give a rabies vaccination.

“Lets hope it works,” he said jabbing the needle into my skin, “because if it doesn’t, the only thing I can do is sign your death certificate.”

A couple more visits to “Dr Tim’s house of happiness” seemed to do the trick. Ninety days passed without incident and the threat of a madman’s death disappeared. Life was looking good until I recently read that some cases can take 2 years to appear. The headache returned with a vengeance and a dull pain appeared in my back.

“Oh well,” I thought, “only 21 months until the all clear.”

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

The World’s Messiest Festivals

Most of the time, when travelers are thinking about going to a foreign country in order to witness a particular festival celebration first-hand, they’re thinking in terms of what festival will help them understand the culture better, or which ones have the most free-flowing alcohol. But if you’re one of those travelers who just wants to get dirty – and I mean really dirty – in order to help the locals celebrate something, then these messy festivals should be right up your alley.

Orange Throwing in Italy

Oranges fly through the air in Ivrea
Oranges fly through the air in Ivrea

The town of Ivrea in the Piedmont region of northern Italy may be a quiet town most of the year, but during its annual February carnival things get messy. That’s because the most famous part of Ivrea’s annual carnival is the battle of the oranges. The orange fight of the Carnevale d’Ivrea is said to have originated in the 12th century, when a local woman not only refused to let the local duke sleep with her on her wedding night (a custom at the time), she chopped off his head and thus set off a revolution. Today, the oranges which locals chuck at one another are said to represent the duke’s head. The orange-throwing isn’t a free-for-all, although it might look chaotic – the people of Ivrea are split into 9 teams who attack one another. Some ride high-up in carriages above the crowd (these people are said to represent the guards of the famous beheaded duke), while others throw oranges from below. No matter where they come from, the oranges – thrown with speed – can hurt. If you want to avoid getting hit, wearing a red cap lets the orange throwers know you’re just watching. If you want to get in on the action, you’ll need to join one of the teams (which is easy to do – just volunteer!).

Pumpkin Chucking in Deleware

Because the family that hurls pumpkins together, stays together
The family that hurls pumpkins together, stays together

What symbolizes Autumn more than a pumpkin throwing contest, I ask you? Nothing, I say, and I think the folks behind the World Championship Punkin Chunkin festival would agree. What began in 1986 as a sort of a bet between four friends about who could throw a pumpkin furthest has blossomed into a popular annual event that takes place the week after Halloween each year (great way to get rid of those unwanted holiday decorations). In recent years, as many as 20,000 people have made the pilgrimage to Sussex County in Delaware to either watch pumpkins flying through the air or enter their own apparatus in a bid to chuck their pumpkin the furthest. Now, this isn’t a messy event if you’re just a spectator or even one of the pumpkin chuckers – but if you’re on the clean-up crew? I’d call that a messy festival of the highest order.

Colored Powder Throwing in India

Pretty colors make some people loopy
The pretty colors make some people loopy

As far as most of these messy festivals go, the results can’t exactly be called "pretty." Not so with Holi, the Hindu so-called Festival of Colors that takes place each year in India around the end of February or beginning of March. The second day of Holi is marked by participants (which is everyone) throwing colored powders at one another – so while your clothing may never be the same, the spectacle itself is quite lovely. The powder-throwing, aside from being delightfully fun, has medicinal origins – the powders are made from medicinal herbs which are intended to ward off the fevers and other illnesses which generally come up as the weather changes at that time of year. Along with the powders, water is also thrown, leaving some people with a tie-dye effect on their bodies – at least for a little while. In addition to India, Holi is also celebrated in Nepal, Guyana, Trinidad, and West Bengal, where it’s called Dolyatra. Some reports say that the colored powders and pastes actually contain toxic chemicals these days, so before you decide to take part, be sure to do your research.

Tomato Throwing in Spain

This is also how Heinz makes its ketchup
This is also how Heinz makes its ketchup

Food fights are just about the messiest festivals around, and the town of Buñol in Spain holds a doozy every year. Each August on the fourth Wednesday of the month, locals and tourists alike crowd into the town and spend a couple hours hurling tomatoes at one another. The festival is called La Tomatina, and while the tomato-throwing portion is only one part of the whole week-long festival, it’s the only part that anyone outside Spain really knows anything about. There are tours you can join which are organized solely around the tomato food fight, and some even provide the necessary gear you’ll need. Not sure what "gear" I might be referring to? Why I’m talking about goggles, of course. Imagine having to explain to an emergency room doctor in Spain why you’ve got a beefsteak tomato lodged in your eye socket. Oh, and if you’re going to go, either wear something that’s already pink or something you don’t mind ending up pink afterwards.

Water Fight in Thailand

Water flies for the Thai New Year
Water flies for the Thai New Year

While you might accidentally pour what’s in your beer glass over your neighbor at the bar when someone shouts "Happy New Year," people in Thailand celebrate their new year by dousing one another with water on purpose. Songkran, the Thai New Year, happens each year in mid-April and is marked by massive water fights. Locals and visitors alike are out in force with buckets, bowls, garden hoses, water guns, elephants (yes, elephants), and any other water-delivery method they’ve got at their disposal – and anyone is fair game. This no-holds-barred water fight originally was just a small amount of water poured over someone’s hands as a sign of respect, but it’s clearly gone beyond that now (although the water is still seen as a sign of respect). In fact, if you’re in Thailand in mid-April you’ll be glad that an all-out water fight is now the traditional way to celebrate the new year, because it’s so hot that being drenched is a welcome relief.

Tomato Fight in Colombia

Colombia's tomato fight looks messier than Spain's
Colombia’s tomato fight looks messier than Spain’s

Having a tomato fight be your country’s messy festival isn’t something the Spaniards have all to themselves. In fact, the town of Sutamarchan in Colombia also has a tomato-throwing festival on its calendar each year. Colombia’s version is called the "Tomatina Colombiana," and it takes place in June. While the Spanish Tomatina festival is decidedly more famous and undoubtedly more of a tourist attraction, the Colombian tomato festival is absolutely no less messy. In fact, judging from some of the pictures, it actually looks a little messier than its Spanish counterpart, in that the tomato mush participants are standing in isn’t just red – it’s brown. (Not sure I want to know why.) There’s not as much information about this tomato fight available out there, so if you’re looking to be among the only tourists at a messy festival, this might be the one to pick.

Water Splashing in China

More water fighting fun, this time in China
More water fighting fun, this time in China

Like Thailand’s water festival, China’s also takes place in mid-April to mark the start of the New Year. The water splashing happens in the Yunnan province, and is only part of the whole 3-5 day festival celebrated by the Dai people. As in Thailand, dousing people with water in this Chinese festival has special significance – water is the symbol of holiness and purity, and it’s meant to wash away all the bad things from the previous year so everyone can start the new year fresh. So in this tradition, the more water you get splashed with, the better the outlook for your new year! Budget travelers should love this, as it could save you from needing a place to take a shower for at least a few days. Other things you’ll see if you stick around for more than just the water fight include dragon boat races, fireworks, and traditional dances.

Lotus Throwing in Thailand

Sweepers follow the Buddha's boat collecting lotus flowers
Sweepers follow Buddha’s boat collecting lotus flowers

Okay, I know, throwing lotus flowers doesn’t exactly sound messy. And in comparison to some of the other festivals on this list, it isn’t. But this tradition, which marks the end of the Rub Bua Festival in Samut Prakan, Thailand, could be considered messy if you’re one of the people who’s on clean-up duty. The lotus-throwing portion of the festival is held in October each year, when an image of the Buddha is floated down the river through town. People on either side of the river throw lotus flowers onto the boat carrying the Buddha, and as you can imagine many of them miss the boat (so to speak). There are several smaller boats trailing the Buddha boat, and the people on those smaller crafts are designated to sweep up the flowers that didn’t quite make it and deposit them onto the main boat. Buddhists come from all over Thailand to take part in this festival, which means there are a lot of flying lotus flowers, so watch where you’re going.

You don’t have to be a cowboy-wannabe to find the idea of riding exotic animals around the world enticing. After all, it’s not everyday you get a chance to climb on the back of an elephant or a water buffalo, right?

You’re already making some great travel memories on your trip, and this is just another chance to add to that tally – not to mention get a few interesting travel photos in the process. If horseback riding just isn’t enough to get your blood going, here are some of the animals you can ride around the world.

Ride a Water Buffalo in Vietnam

water buffalo

In Vietnam, and throughout much of Asia, water buffalo have long been (and remain) a typical farm animal for many families – like cows or chickens are to farms in other countries. For tourists, however, the opportunity to ride what looks like an animal you’d see in a zoo somewhere can be really tempting. The locals might think you’re a little wacky for wanting to ride their livestock, but if you’re willing to pay them for the chance then they’ll probably minimize their laughing until after you’ve left.

The Mekong Delta region of Vietnam is a good target destination if you’re intent on riding a water buffalo, and you should know that if you’re in the Philippines when the idea to ride one strikes you, the animal may be called a Carabao. Whatever it’s called, when it starts to move, hang on.

Ride an Ostrich in South Africa

ostrich

The concept of riding a bird might just be the pinnacle of weirdness, but in South Africa you can easily arrange to hop on the back of an ostrich for a crazy spin around a corral. In the Little Karoo region you’ll find the town of Oudtshoorn, which is famous for having the world’s biggest population of ostrich.

As you might imagine, the big birds do end up on many a local dinner plate, but if you prefer the idea of interacting with nature while it’s still alive then head for one of the many ostrich farms in the area that offers ostrich rides.

Riding an ostrich is inelegant (to put it mildly), and although the ride will typically last no more than a minute or so you may feel the effects of the bird’s spastic movements for quite awhile. Make sure you get all the necessary tips from the ostrich handlers about how to stay on the bird before they remove its blindfold. Because by that point, you probably won’t be able to pay attention to anything other than holding on for dear life.

Ride a Camel in Egypt

camel

Some call it one of the world’s biggest tourist traps, but riding a camel in Egypt is still on many travelers’ to-do lists. The good news is that a quick spin on the back of a camel is really easy to accomplish – and if you’re looking for something a bit more adventurous, you can also arrange for multi-day camel treks into the desert.

Almost anywhere around the Giza Pyramids in Egypt, you’ll find camel wranglers poised to get you on one of their charges so you can get your picture taken. But here’s a fair warning to anyone who must have this photo in their album – be prepared to pay a hefty price for it. Some tourists have been so eager to get onto the camel that they haven’t negotiatied the price in advance. Then the camel guide doesn’t let them dismount until they’ve paid some exorbitant fee. Others report that even though they agreed to a price before climbing on board, the camel guide then led them far away from their tour bus (and tour guide) and demanded more money before they’d take them back.

Although these shady practices are less common now than they once were, your best bet is still to have your trusted tour guide arrange a camel ride for you rather than approaching a camel keeper outside the Pyramids. Fortunately, those of you who are interested in a longer camel trek can generally book these in advance of your trip with companies that have good reputations.

Ride a Llama in the United States

llama

If you’ve ever seen a llama up close, you’ll know that they’re not the burliest of animals. Although you can probably easily picture an elephant or a horse carrying an average-sized human being on its back, that idea just seems cruel when you’re looking at something the size of a llama. So it shouldn’t be surprising that llamas are really only suitable as either light pack animals or as riding animals for small children.

In some of the U.S. National Parks, including Yellowstone, there are llama-packing trips you can go on where the llamas are enlisted to carry some of your equipment. But if you’re traveling with the wee ones (and the llamas are agreeable), there’s nothing like the look in a child’s eyes when she sees the world from the back of a furry four-legged creature. Even more memorable is the look of terror in that same kid’s eyes when the llama decides that it’s had enough of being your beast of burden.

Ride a Yak in China

yak

Like the water buffalo, the yak is an animal not uncommon in several parts of Asia where it’s used primarily as a pack animal. But any animal that big is bound to have a saddle thrown on its back at some point, whether by locals who just get tired of walking or by tourists who just think it’s fun. In China, it’s possible to take a quick ride on a yak as part of a trip to Jade Dragon Snow Mountain near Lijiang in the Yunnan province.

The area around Jade Dragon Snow Mountain Park includes mountains (obviously), gardens, and wide streams – and it’s at these streams where the yaks come in. You can hop on the animal’s back to get across the water in order to keep your feet dry, and get a great photo in the process. And the best news of all is that these animals generally move slowly enough that the ride won’t make you, umm, yak. (Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.)

Ride an Elephant in Thailand

elephant

One of the most popular things to do during a trip to Thailand is to ride an elephant. Like most of the other animal riding opportunities on this list, you can choose a quick on-off photo-op or you can go for something a bit more adventurous and actually go on an elephant safari. And while the cost of a multi-day elephant trek is going to be higher than a simpler half-day excursion, you’d be surprised at how affordable these treks can be.

Generally speaking, your best bet for riding an elephant is around Khao Sok National Park, Chiang Mai, or Phuket Island – and because each of those destinations offers its own set of great sight-seeing, you’ll have to read about your options in each place to choose where you want to go. And be sure to wear clothing you don’t mind getting wet, as you’re likely to get sprayed by the elephants when they go through water – nevermind that they’re supposed to keep you high above the water in the first place.

Ride a Giant Tortoise in Kenya

tortoise

Like the llama, a giant tortoise isn’t immediately going to conjure up the image of "beast of burden." But these oversized aquarium creatures are plenty big and sturdy enough to give a small kid a few minutes of entertainment – albeit at a very slow pace.

At the the Mount Kenya Wildlife Conservancy in (you guessed it) Kenya, where the goal is rescue and return wild animals to their natural habitat, there’s an Aldabra Giant Tortoise who’s a permanent resident. Her name is "Speedy," and she’s also the oldest animal at the conservancy.

Perhaps the best part of letting your child hop on Speedy’s back is that they’ll never look at those tiny turtles back home the same way again.

Ride a pony that’s painted to look like a zebra in China

Fake zebra
Fake zebra

When you’re thinking of animals it would be logical to think about riding, you’d probably think first of animals that look like horses, right? So it seems reasonable that riding a zebra would be not only possible but common, right? Well, just because something "seems reasonable" (or because that something was the subject of a childrens’ movie) doesn’t mean it is reasonable. Let that be a lesson to us all.

I spent some time hunting online for places where you can ride zebras, but got nowhere. But after my fruitless searches, I was sent this glorious piece of ridiculousness. Evidently, a park in China painted black stripes on a white pony, called it a "zebra," and charged people to get their picture taken riding it.

And if that’s not brilliant enough, we have the "zebra" feeder’s reply when he was asked if it was, in fact, a real zebra: "It’s from Africa. What do you call it, if it’s not a zebra?" Umm, I have some ideas…

In all seriousness…

As an animal lover, I can’t finish this article without reminding all you travelers to be aware of the treatment of the animals you’ll encounter around the world. For instance, not all elephant safari companies are created equally – some mistreat their elephants, while others use some of their profits to aid sick elephants. You won’t always be able to determine the moral standards of the people who are handling the animals you’re thinking of riding, but often a little research is all it takes to weed out the bad apples. And if you’ve got any doubts, don’t give in to temptation. No photograph on an animal’s back is worth the heartache of knowing you’re contributing to animal abuse, after all.

And while I think most of you are going to be intelligent enough not to need this additional warning, I still somehow feel compelled to urge you – for the love of gawd, people – not to fancy yourself some kind of zebra-whisperer who’s going to tame whatever random wild beasts you see in your travels. If you’re going to ride an exotic animal, do it where such actions are sanctioned and organized. I’d hate to think of you chasing down a giraffe with a lasso or trying to wrestle a saddle onto an alligator.

ou don’t have to be a cowboy-wannabe to find the idea of riding exotic animals around the world enticing. After all, it’s not everyday you get a chance to climb on the back of an elephant or a water buffalo, right?

You’re already making some great travel memories on your trip, and this is just another chance to add to that tally – not to mention get a few interesting travel photos in the process. If horseback riding just isn’t enough to get your blood going, here are some of the animals you can ride around the world.

Ride a Water Buffalo in Vietnam

water buffalo

In Vietnam, and throughout much of Asia, water buffalo have long been (and remain) a typical farm animal for many families – like cows or chickens are to farms in other countries. For tourists, however, the opportunity to ride what looks like an animal you’d see in a zoo somewhere can be really tempting. The locals might think you’re a little wacky for wanting to ride their livestock, but if you’re willing to pay them for the chance then they’ll probably minimize their laughing until after you’ve left.

The Mekong Delta region of Vietnam is a good target destination if you’re intent on riding a water buffalo, and you should know that if you’re in the Philippines when the idea to ride one strikes you, the animal may be called a Carabao. Whatever it’s called, when it starts to move, hang on.

Ride an Ostrich in South Africa

ostrich

The concept of riding a bird might just be the pinnacle of weirdness, but in South Africa you can easily arrange to hop on the back of an ostrich for a crazy spin around a corral. In the Little Karoo region you’ll find the town of Oudtshoorn, which is famous for having the world’s biggest population of ostrich.

As you might imagine, the big birds do end up on many a local dinner plate, but if you prefer the idea of interacting with nature while it’s still alive then head for one of the many ostrich farms in the area that offers ostrich rides.

Riding an ostrich is inelegant (to put it mildly), and although the ride will typically last no more than a minute or so you may feel the effects of the bird’s spastic movements for quite awhile. Make sure you get all the necessary tips from the ostrich handlers about how to stay on the bird before they remove its blindfold. Because by that point, you probably won’t be able to pay attention to anything other than holding on for dear life.

Ride a Camel in Egypt

camel

Some call it one of the world’s biggest tourist traps, but riding a camel in Egypt is still on many travelers’ to-do lists. The good news is that a quick spin on the back of a camel is really easy to accomplish – and if you’re looking for something a bit more adventurous, you can also arrange for multi-day camel treks into the desert.

Almost anywhere around the Giza Pyramids in Egypt, you’ll find camel wranglers poised to get you on one of their charges so you can get your picture taken. But here’s a fair warning to anyone who must have this photo in their album – be prepared to pay a hefty price for it. Some tourists have been so eager to get onto the camel that they haven’t negotiatied the price in advance. Then the camel guide doesn’t let them dismount until they’ve paid some exorbitant fee. Others report that even though they agreed to a price before climbing on board, the camel guide then led them far away from their tour bus (and tour guide) and demanded more money before they’d take them back.

Although these shady practices are less common now than they once were, your best bet is still to have your trusted tour guide arrange a camel ride for you rather than approaching a camel keeper outside the Pyramids. Fortunately, those of you who are interested in a longer camel trek can generally book these in advance of your trip with companies that have good reputations.

Ride a Llama in the United States

llama

If you’ve ever seen a llama up close, you’ll know that they’re not the burliest of animals. Although you can probably easily picture an elephant or a horse carrying an average-sized human being on its back, that idea just seems cruel when you’re looking at something the size of a llama. So it shouldn’t be surprising that llamas are really only suitable as either light pack animals or as riding animals for small children.

In some of the U.S. National Parks, including Yellowstone, there are llama-packing trips you can go on where the llamas are enlisted to carry some of your equipment. But if you’re traveling with the wee ones (and the llamas are agreeable), there’s nothing like the look in a child’s eyes when she sees the world from the back of a furry four-legged creature. Even more memorable is the look of terror in that same kid’s eyes when the llama decides that it’s had enough of being your beast of burden.

Ride a Yak in China

yak

Like the water buffalo, the yak is an animal not uncommon in several parts of Asia where it’s used primarily as a pack animal. But any animal that big is bound to have a saddle thrown on its back at some point, whether by locals who just get tired of walking or by tourists who just think it’s fun. In China, it’s possible to take a quick ride on a yak as part of a trip to Jade Dragon Snow Mountain near Lijiang in the Yunnan province.

The area around Jade Dragon Snow Mountain Park includes mountains (obviously), gardens, and wide streams – and it’s at these streams where the yaks come in. You can hop on the animal’s back to get across the water in order to keep your feet dry, and get a great photo in the process. And the best news of all is that these animals generally move slowly enough that the ride won’t make you, umm, yak. (Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.)

Ride an Elephant in Thailand

elephant

One of the most popular things to do during a trip to Thailand is to ride an elephant. Like most of the other animal riding opportunities on this list, you can choose a quick on-off photo-op or you can go for something a bit more adventurous and actually go on an elephant safari. And while the cost of a multi-day elephant trek is going to be higher than a simpler half-day excursion, you’d be surprised at how affordable these treks can be.

Generally speaking, your best bet for riding an elephant is around Khao Sok National Park, Chiang Mai, or Phuket Island – and because each of those destinations offers its own set of great sight-seeing, you’ll have to read about your options in each place to choose where you want to go. And be sure to wear clothing you don’t mind getting wet, as you’re likely to get sprayed by the elephants when they go through water – nevermind that they’re supposed to keep you high above the water in the first place.

Ride a Giant Tortoise in Kenya

tortoise

Like the llama, a giant tortoise isn’t immediately going to conjure up the image of "beast of burden." But these oversized aquarium creatures are plenty big and sturdy enough to give a small kid a few minutes of entertainment – albeit at a very slow pace.

At the the Mount Kenya Wildlife Conservancy in (you guessed it) Kenya, where the goal is rescue and return wild animals to their natural habitat, there’s an Aldabra Giant Tortoise who’s a permanent resident. Her name is "Speedy," and she’s also the oldest animal at the conservancy.

Perhaps the best part of letting your child hop on Speedy’s back is that they’ll never look at those tiny turtles back home the same way again.

Ride a pony that’s painted to look like a zebra in China

Fake zebra
Fake zebra

When you’re thinking of animals it would be logical to think about riding, you’d probably think first of animals that look like horses, right? So it seems reasonable that riding a zebra would be not only possible but common, right? Well, just because something "seems reasonable" (or because that something was the subject of a childrens’ movie) doesn’t mean it is reasonable. Let that be a lesson to us all.

I spent some time hunting online for places where you can ride zebras, but got nowhere. But after my fruitless searches, I was sent this glorious piece of ridiculousness. Evidently, a park in China painted black stripes on a white pony, called it a "zebra," and charged people to get their picture taken riding it.

And if that’s not brilliant enough, we have the "zebra" feeder’s reply when he was asked if it was, in fact, a real zebra: "It’s from Africa. What do you call it, if it’s not a zebra?" Umm, I have some ideas…

In all seriousness…

As an animal lover, I can’t finish this article without reminding all you travelers to be aware of the treatment of the animals you’ll encounter around the world. For instance, not all elephant safari companies are created equally – some mistreat their elephants, while others use some of their profits to aid sick elephants. You won’t always be able to determine the moral standards of the people who are handling the animals you’re thinking of riding, but often a little research is all it takes to weed out the bad apples. And if you’ve got any doubts, don’t give in to temptation. No photograph on an animal’s back is worth the heartache of knowing you’re contributing to animal abuse, after all.

And while I think most of you are going to be intelligent enough not to need this additional warning, I still somehow feel compelled to urge you – for the love of gawd, people – not to fancy yourself some kind of zebra-whisperer who’s going to tame whatever random wild beasts you see in your travels. If you’re going to ride an exotic animal, do it where such actions are sanctioned and organized. I’d hate to think of you chasing down a giraffe with a lasso or trying to wrestle a saddle onto an alligator.


oday is the day. Today, I will become a man. Actually, that’s not true. I’m female. But the point is clear: Today is the day I will challenge my fear and self-reliance, to venture into the unknown without a plan. I must survive, throwing all inhibitions to the wind, foraging into the mysterious – alone, braving untamed jungles, wild animals and sweaty-toothed savages – emerging with courage gained; courage earned. Today is the day.
Longtail boat
Long-tail boat

I awoke to the brilliance of sunlight gleaming its first morning rays into my bamboo Thai bungalow. I had arrived to the island of Koh Phangan two days before, gliding over on a colorful ribboned long-tail boat, an adventurous traveler in search of the unfamiliar. This island, a welcome jump away from the resort infested isle of Koh Samui, reflected my visions of pure, natural simplicity. Like a dream, Whynam Beach is far away from the full moon party madness of Haad Rin, where soft breezes whisper tranquility over a secluded thread of caramel colored sands and turquoise waters.

It was from here that my solitary adventure began. Smiling, exuberant and shiny clean, I set off into the jungles in hunt for adventure. I easily identified the small sandy trail leading into the dense green rain forest. It invited me into its thick vegetation like an old, welcoming friend. A slight curve along the gently sloping trail led me upwards onto the cliffs, with a sea view so breathtaking, I almost cried. Sunlight sparkled from the heavens onto shimmering crystal waters of turquoise and blue, which fanned out from the secluded bay and crashed its white foam upon the giant rocks of the sea. Enormous green mountains, carpeted with gently waving trees of coconut and cashew palms, towered above. Into this mysterious, thriving interior, I entered.

Silky sands and waving palms
Silky sands and waving palms

I weaved my way along my trusted little trail, whistling happily while passing looming palms, and spying gargantuan lizards from the tops of flattened rocks. The echoing calls of jungle animals resonated through the hot air, as a cooling mist descended from the canopy of green upon the moist earth. Out of the blue, deep within the interior of the forest, it began to rain. It poured – whirlwinds – in what was previously a peaceful refuge of blissful tranquility, bouncing from palm to palm as if it had a mind and a vengeance of its own. It whipped my hair around my head in a tornado, creating what would soon be a beautiful nested retreat for the birds, now in hiding. For me, though, there was no retreat, no refuge, no shelter. Had I lost my way? The thick palms became impenetrable. It was then, deep in the jungle with the rain pouring down my neck like a water hose, that I knew I was in trouble.

Feel no fear, my mind shouted. Overcome the challenge. Like a mad person, I screamed out into the whipping wind, proclaiming my strength of courage. I was bound to become one with this great spontaneous storm; bound to overcome anything that came my way. With that sudden determination, the rain stopped. Immediately, the sun started shining its warm rays upon the glistening green. The sweet, joyful chirping of little birds filled the air. They dived and soared among the treetops. Did that just happen? If I hadn’t been soaked through (and if those birds weren’t so busy trying to penetrate my hair), I would’ve thought I was hallucinating; a little trick played by Mother Nature. This, I realized, is what I love about Thailand – the most unimaginable things happen when they’re least expected.

Rainstorm in the heart of the jungle
Rainstorm in the heart of the jungle

I was still deep within the palms. My trail was hopelessly lost, and so, I recognized with a conceding laugh, was I. I figured that if I continued into the jungle without any sense of direction, I would end up in Vietnam. There was no turning back, for the sole reason that I didn’t know where “back” was. I stood, a tiny animal stuck in the middle of an unfamiliar rainforest, a babe lost in the woods. I was completely relying on my own survival skills – as I had asked.

I figured my best bet was to follow the shoreline. I could trust the direction of the coast, which would lead me to another beach where a faithful, steadfast long-tail boat would be floating innocently on shore, decorated profusely and awaiting my arrival. Confidently I set off. My happy whistling echoed through the forest behind me. I could hear the alluring sounds of crashing waves, of swishing waters that I knew must be warm and welcoming to the touch, loving and soothing. I broke into a run, deliriously happy to reach the shoreline, where I knew sweet salvation was mine. There I stopped short.

Massive, monolithic rocks protruded like the teeth of mountains jutting out from the sea. This dangerously rocky barrier seemed to laugh in the face of my fallen hope, boasting that I could not conquer the magnitude nor the magnificence of Mother Nature. Far off in the distance, a gleaming strip of sand shimmered like a ribbon of caramel taffy. It was my only hope.

Crashing waters, only sliver of hope
Crashing waters, only sliver of hope

I leaped onto the first rock and into the face of danger. No problem. I was here, without the knowledge of a soul, to prove my strength of spirit, my invincibility. One monster tooth down, a million to go. I bounded across sea and sky. My self-assurance swelled as I hurdled confidently from one stone to another. I leapt. I dove. I soared through the air. Hour upon hour, I seized any trace of fear and squished it with my resolved courage. This was my challenge, my adventure. Crashing waves smashed angrily onto the rocks, straining to swallow me, but failing to claim me. Into the blue, I shouted. I will not be taken! I was the world’s greatest acrobat.

As if in answer, I heard the fiendish laughter of Nature yet again. It echoed across the empty space that lingered before me – an empty space that stood as my last hurdle, my last hope to survive this arduous test and to emerge alive. Four horribly extensive meters separated me from the closest protruding rock. My body ached. My heart ached. Biting my lip, I stood motionless as I deliberated. The sun was lower in the sky. Could I go back? Could I swim? Could I wait for an imaginary, lone fisherman out in the waters to hear my cries and come rescue me? Each option equaled suicide. If I held even a sliver of hope to live, I had only one chance. JUMP.

Ghostly remnants of a Thai Bure
Ghostly remnants of a Thai Bure

And so I thought about my mom and dad, my brother and sister. How long would it be before my broken body would be found? Would someone be kind enough to email my friends and tell them I had perished in such a courageous way? The relentless sea crashed upon the rocks again, breaking my stupor and pushing its command to jump. It was now or never.

Breathing deeply in preparation, I bolted from my runner’s stance to push my soles from the edge of the jagged rock, and through the open air of time and space. My body flew. Time transcended into slow-motion. With a sudden powerful smack, I grasped the rocky face just below its pointing peak. Holy Bonsai! I did it! Like a desperate spider monkey clinging to safety, I prayed for life. A smaller, flatter rock lay waiting two more meters to the right. But I couldn’t release. Ions passed. Limbs went numb. Fingers slipped. And there, hanging with tired desperation, I began to pray for a swift death. With a tilt of my head, I saw Nature’s eager response: the mother of all waves. It grew high in its volume; it swelled to the sky. Like the great open mouth of an angry tidal wave, it rose itself to swallow me, the little bug I was.

On solid ground
On solid ground

Life has a tricky sense of humor. It stretches you to your limits until you’ve gained just enough courage to do the incredible. So it was for me. I breathed. With strength of body and soul, and with a defiant gladiator’s scream, I catapulted myself into the air – the slow motion view of a girl insane, wild hair flying, crazed unwavering eyes, limbs outstretched to grasp life, to grasp the mountain, to grasp anything.

A thud notified me that I had landed. Laying motionless, I released a long breath of exhaustion. I had overcome. I was burning. The heat bore into my bruised and bloody body, initiating a desperate haste to escape from the cruelty of the rocks. With a few more bounces and leaps, I flew towards the smooth sands of the deserted beach below. When my feet touched solid ground, I almost wept. Whispering gratitude to the Universe for my safe arrival, I took in my surroundings. From one end to the other, only the gleaming sands of a silky caramel beach existed, soft turquoise waters gently licking its shore. Such beauty! I stood in a scene of liquid diamonds kissing glistening grains of maple sugar. A glance to my right – no one. A glimpse to my left – not a soul. That was all the motivation I needed: the clothes came off.

Hidden trail to freedom
Hidden trail to freedom

As my skin touched sea, I melted. The relief of cool water on my nakedness almost undid me. It seemed I was liquefying into the waters of ecstasy. Sated and dripping, I sprawled myself onto the shoreline – the lustrous sands and setting sun kissing my skin in arduous passion. Finally, relief. Time stretched. I would’ve melted into a languid sleep, only to be lost in the deep abyss, forever. In the darkness of my eyelids I could see the flashing headline now: “NEWS ALERT: Dead naked girl found on the deserted shores of southern Thai island…” With a sigh of frustrated surrender, I donned my now ragged, blood-stained clothes and went in search for life.

I found it at the other end of the beach, past a skeleton bungalow obviously chosen as the unfortunate recipients of a small hurricane. I greeted them with a smile and a bow, hands clasped in prayer, as is the Thai custom. The older, more formidable one was a tall muscular man, about 30 years of age, resembling a malnutrition Muay Thai boxer. The smaller Thai, around 19, smiled a semi-toothless smile as he puffed on smoky marijuana rolled in paper-thin leaves. I looked at the older one.

“I”, pointing a solitary finger to my chest, “am Shannon. Shan-non”. I smiled. He didn’t. I asked his name three times until I understood his monotonous expression of irritation: STOP ASKING.
After numerous attempts at conversation, to explain my dire circumstances, I finally understood that Mr. Friendly was about to trek back through the jungle to Whynam Beach. Choruses of hallelujah rang through my head. I trailed him like the ugly duckling trying to catch up with its mother.

Home sweet home
Home sweet home

From the initial opening of a tiny leaf covered trail, we marched up into the mountain, trudging past hordes of towering palms and across moist terrain, still wet from the storm. Animals called through the forest as we pushed our way through the green abundance. Smells of wet earth, lush vegetation and balmy air filled my senses. Relentlessly, I stuck steady with my silent guide while he stuck constant to the ever mysterious pathway. And then, with a blast of fresh air, we emerged from the brush into the fading light of dusk. It was home. Home.

Mentally, I yelped with joy; physically, I held my head high. Leaping with joyfulness was something I would’ve done 11 hours ago – eleven whole hours that had stretched out into eternity, pushing my limits, straining my nerves, challenging my sanity and spitting me out an unsung hero. Chin high and body bruised, I stepped forward into the fading light of the setting sun. A humble pride swelled within me as I thanked the Thai gods for this challenging, inspirational journey into fearlessness. And when I turned to thank my Thai warrior who had escorted me back to reality, he was gone.